Hospitality and An Appeal
by diane leutgeb munson
Hospitality is a funny thing. Somehow in the midst of the mild chaos, clanging dishes and ringing phone, you find your heart has been stolen away and a piece has walked out the door with another beloved guest.
Dave said goodbye tonight. As is typical for him, he did so quietly. As people cleared their plates and I watched them stack up beside the sink, he popped his head in the kitchen. He mumbled a goodbye, as he does every other night, but seemed reluctant to actually leave. I waited a moment and he started to stumble over an explanation. He’d be leaving Friday, much sooner than he had thought. He wouldn’t be coming back soon. He stopped himself, turned away again and then let the words come as they willed. “Thank you…for everything. I never would have made it without you. I never would have survived.” His eyes, blurred with tears, spoke even more profoundly than the simple words he offered. He left me with the assurance that he would call, and that it would be collect. He winked, smiled and walked away.
I thank God for all of the guests that have shared their lives with me in my time in this house. I know that I am not an easy person to live with and it is sure that many of our guests have challenged me in various ways as well. Ironically, though, I think that many of us would echo Dave’s parting words if given the chance, “I never would have made it without you, thank you.” I feel confident that what Dave meant, was that he would have lost hope long ago if not for this beautiful place, these compassionate friends, our generous cooks, and mostly the undying forgiveness that flows through this house.
The assumption is often that we at Bethany House do not seem to deal very heavily with emotions, but I realized this evening that there is supreme power in what has been left unspoken. In a brief exchange it is possible to wipe clean a long list of mistakes and shortcomings. There is not always a need to replay the litany of events and circumstances and in this case there was not time nor room for “I’m sorry,” and “I forgive.” Sometimes we must simply meet at a place where guilt and pain and love can run together over our wounded selves and wash us clean.
Bethany House has offered a haven, to Dave, to me and to countless others. In this place we are free. It is here that we dare to hope for things that cannot be real outside of these walls. We dream of things for ourselves and this world that seem simple and right. Here we find solace because we suddenly don’t feel so different; we fit, and we are relieved that there is still one place where that is true. No one is too crazy, too addicted, too old, too young, too bold or too shy. This is home, whether we sleep here every night or eat here once a week. We are finally home.
This time of year we all become a little more grateful for the place that we call home, as we ponder and face the grim reality of our brothers and sisters that do not have shelter on these long cold nights. We realize that those of us who reside under these roofs at the Catholic Worker are here only because of the generosity of a community. Were it not for the support of others, our house would be no different from the next. For this reason we pray in thanksgiving for all of the people who have made sacrifices great and small during this past year in order to better the lives of our guests. We also pray with hopeful hearts that our friends and neighbors continue to include our homes and our guests in their daily lives, whether it be through prayer, visits or donations.
As the season of winter knocks at our door, the bills continue to stack up, and our well-aged houses groan under the pressure of many bodies and much use. Repairs are a continuous, and costly, aspect of daily life. Heat and electricity consume more and more of our small bank account and yet we must discuss how to best use our resources to repair the attic window and replace the toilet. We depend on your financial help to provide hospitality, and we truly cannot do this work without you.
Thank you to all of you who have given us the gift of this place, of these warm meals, of your thoughtful support. Please feel welcome to come closer to the lives of those who share this space, but make ready your heart, it may be forever changed in this home where we are all made a little more whole.